(Lisa Burnett, of Elegant Weddings by Lisa pinning a boutonniere on a groomsman.)

Wedding crashers, smashed wedding rings, drunk DJs, iced cornbread instead of cake… yep this stuff really does happen at weddings and at LOCAL weddings.

When brides come in for a consultation, I can’t tell you how relieved I am if they have a wedding planner/coordinator. To me, these are the smart brides. For the majority of us, our wedding is the largest party we will ever throw. And to try to take on EVERY little detail when it’s supposed to be your special day can drive any bride up the wall.

(Lisa Burnett has included some stories of what happened when a bride thought a professional would be too expensive and the end result when the bride did her own thing despite her coordinator’s suggestions. We’ve added some of the stories in blue vignettes for you to enjoy and be warned!)

Friend of the bride baked the cake that was lovely with just a few imperfections. This would have been a win, if you enjoy iced cornbread. –Lisa Burnett, Elegant Weddings by Lisa

I don’t know that I’ve ever been to a wedding that went perfectly. Something always goes wrong, and I usually see the stress on the bride and groom’s faces–because they are the ones dealing with all the last minute details instead of relaxing.

Let me put it this way, there is a reason you have a honeymoon after you get married—you’ll want the vacation from all the wedding craziness.

But when I try to tell a bride about a wedding planner they seem to think that they just walk them down the aisle and that’s all they are good for. And since planning is not my job, so I don’t understand all the intricacies, I decided to ask a couple of great coordinators in our area some important questions.

Meet our panel:

Elegant Weddings by Lisa

Lisa Burnett

She has been planning weddings for 17 years.

Behind the scenes story:

Lisa tells of one DJ the bride insisted on hiring…The DJ did not make announcements, only brought 10 songs with him, and repeated them over and over.  Towards the end of the reception after a few drinks he decided to make some announcements, but you didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

First Coast Weddings and Events

Heather Canada

Heather  established her company in 2002 but has been handling weddings as the catering manager at hotels and country clubs since 1999.

Behind the scenes story:

One of our planners was recently working with a couple for their wedding aboard a boat.  As the wedding day approached, the forecast called for not only rain, but lightning.  Lots of lightning.  The boat’s captain wasn’t worried about it, nor was the bride. Our planner, however, saw the impending doom on the horizon.  She talked a nearby hotel into giving her a backup space inside for the ceremony, just in case there was severe weather that would prevent the ceremony from taking place about the ship’s deck.  The bride never even knew about the backup plan, and luckily they did not need it! — Heather

Southern Charm Weddings and Events

Tanya Hendricks

Tanya planned her first wedding in 1992 for a friend.

Behind the scenes story:

Some of the bridal party came to me and said there was a guy at the bar that no one knew, but he was telling everyone he was good friends with the groom.  I went up to him and said, I understand you and good friends with the groom, and he said yup we grew up together.  I said, “great, then you won’t mind telling me his parents’ names.”  He looked at me and said, ” I’m busted aren’t I?”  I got to escort him out the front door.  –Tanya

DJ was a queen that had to be waited on hand and foot as if he was a guest, or else he refused to carry on with the music because he was hungry and thirsty.– Lisa

What did you not know about wedding planning when you first started?

Lisa Burnett: How to deal with difficult family situations.

Tanya Hendricks: Wow – so much.  I thought I knew how to plan weddings and events.  I believe I still learn something with each one I do.  Probably the most important thing I know now that I did not know then was to wear comfortable shoes.   When I first started planning weddings, I would try to wear these cute little shoes.  Now I wear black nursing shoes. On a serious note, however I think I have learned to handle the stress much better.  The older I get and the more weddings I do, I am able to deal with each crisis with a little more finesse.

“If Martha Stewart can do it, so can I,” said the bride who made her own huppah out of thin dowels.–Lisa

A good wedding planner has an emergency kit, can you hint at some of the stuff that is in yours?

Lisa Burnett: Stain removers, lots of pins all types, double sided tape, medicines, fake rings, tape, socks, combs and brushes, mouth spray, bug repellant and ooh sooo much more.

Tanya Hendricks: Currently my emergency kit has a value of $600.00 with all the equipment we carry.  I used to say I had everything someone could need, however I have been asked for things and said to myself that I needed to add it to the kit.  Probably the most unusual thing in my kit would be WD40.

There are a lot of new planners on the market, why should a bride choose a more experienced one?

Lisa Burnett: There are no do overs on your wedding day, and you wouldn’t want any one practicing on your special day.  Experience is priceless.

Heather Canada: No matter what training a bridal consultant has, the only real way to learn a majority of what we do is by doing it.  And unfortunately, newbie planners often practice on real brides, rather than shadowing an experienced planner.  I learn something new at every wedding – and I’ve done over 1,000 weddings in my career.  Imagine how much is left to be learned if you are a planner’s first wedding!

Planning your own event is very different from planning someone else’s. As a planner, I have to adapt to different personality styles, different tastes, and different needs for each client.  This isn’t a skill that everyone possesses, and something that must be learned over time. I can create a beautiful event with my own vision, but being able to capture someone else’s vision and making it happen is a true talent.

DJ shows up late, in a cab drunk.  His equipment was so old the wheels were missing off a speaker and it leaned to the left.  His microphone had a short, and if you didn’t hold it a certain way, there was no sound. — Lisa

Have you ever had to sew a bride into her dress?

Lisa Burnett: I have and to repair some bustles for brides, but I have had to sew bridesmaids into dresses.

Heather Canada: We have had to sew plenty of brides and bridesmaids into their dresses.

Tanya Hendricks: Yes, I have sewn brides and bridesmaids into their dresses on more than one occasion.  Zippers are being made of plastic now and break so easily that it is more of the norm to have to sew up a dress than not.

The cheap caterer nickel and dimed the bride less than a month before the wedding, and the price exceeded the price of a good caterer.  You won’t believe this one:  the extra charge servers were hired from the homeless shelter.–Lisa.

But that’s what the venue coordinator is for right?

Heather Canada: Venue Coordinators…. We love them.  We need them.  A venue coordinator’s role is to oversee the venue.  Pretty simple!  This includes overseeing the wait staff and food service, making sure the venue is set up correctly, and maintaining the safety and security of the venue and the guests.

Our role (in most cases) is more hands-on with the brides – we are helping select flowers, design the cake, choosing invitations.  We help her ensure that the entire event, from the save-the-date card to the thank you notes, is cohesive with the same look and style throughout.  On the wedding day, we are there to protect the bride and groom by being their eyes and ears.  We can make sure that they actually receive everything they have contracted, and make sure that everything runs smoothly from start to finish.

Tanya Hendricks: They may put together a simple timeline for the venue’s benefit (not the bride’s).  Our timelines are usually anywhere from 5 pages on… We are also there for the emergency cake that does not arrive.  We are there to sew the girls into their dresses.  We are there to go pick up the linens when it’s realized they are short one.  So many other what if’s we take care of that a venue coordinator will not.

Lisa Burnett: Even if you hire the best vendors in town you still need someone to pull it all together. The best team needs a coach.

Band was hired at a steal; however they drank more of the open bar than the price of hiring a professional band.  And oh yea the band leader had to be fed all of his lines in order to make announcements.–Lisa

What should a bride look for when hiring a coordinator?

Heather Canada: Membership in associations, like the Association of Bridal Consultants, shows a dedication to the industry.  But membership for me goes beyond that – it’s a fabulous network of friends across the country – and the world – that I have developed and can count on in any situation.  Plus, knowing planners in other areas makes it easier to share information, talk about ideas, and get feedback.

Through ABC and NACE (National Association of Catering Executives), I attend conferences throughout the year, where I can learn about new products, new ideas and new trends to be sure my clients have the best options possible.

Lisa provides this great list for what you should look for in a planner:

-         Licensed

-         Professionally trained

-         Experienced

-         Member of a Bridal Association

-         Continues education and keeps up with the latest trends

-         A planner who actually has time for you

-         Your personalities are a match

“We work behind the scenes to prevent problems ahead of time, or deal with them as they happen on the wedding day,” Heather Canada adds.  “In most cases, our brides never know what goes on to make sure their event is stress-free!”

And now my two cents as the photographer.

The majority of weddings I shoot do not have a planner. Some have a venue coordinator, but in many cases I find that the event coordinator is gone as soon as the food is done being served. Which is when the bride usually turns to me to ask what to do next.

A wedding planner not only helps make sure you arrive on time and gets you down the aisle but helps ensure that at the reception everything is done in a timely manner. Which can mean money saved to you, because many of your vendors are likely charging you by the hour.

Let me put it this way, say you have to pay 3-4 of your vendors to stay an extra hour (happens ALL the time) that is likely to run you $1,000+ easily (And some vendors may have other weddings to go to and can’t stay!). Many day of coordinators start in that range and could have not only helped the wedding stay on time but have been on site all day to ease the tension of stained dresses, vendors arriving on time, and other emergencies that happen at EVERY wedding.

I hope you will consider hiring a wedding planner/coordinator for your wedding day. Not only can they save you a lot of stress, but sometimes the amount of money they can save you could cover the cost of hiring them. And I don’t know a wedding vendor who doesn’t prefer a wedding that has a coordinator in charge, it makes our day go by sooo much more smoothly. I also have someone to go to, should I have any questions, so that I don’t have to bug the bride who likely won’t know the answer for sure anyway.

If you are looking to hire a wedding coordinator, I HIGHLY suggest you talk to any of the three mentioned in this article. And just like all your wedding planners, the best one is the one that you feel most comfortable with and understands your style the best:

Lisa Burnett: Elegant Weddings by Lisa, 904-268-1429

Heather Canada: First Coast Weddings and Events, 904-739-8003

Tanya Hendricks: Southern Charm Weddings & Events, 904-731-5978

(Please note: Photos in this article are to give you a little visual eye candy and are by NO means one of the disaster weddings mentioned!)

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Christy Whitehead is a wedding photographer based out of Jacksonville, Florida (but will travel).